self care

Ma ma ma my mantra

The other day a plumber came to my house to fix my toilets (don’t worry this story does NOT get X-rated). When he walked into my bathroom he noticed my mantras written on the mirror. My mantras are occasionally invisible to me, meaning I notice them when I’m looking at them and reciting the words on the papers. But when they are not within sight or I’m not paying attention to them my mirror might as well be… well a mirror. So when the plumber brought my attention to my own words I was a bit thrown off. “Words of encouragement huh?” he said as he pointed to the index cards taped to the mirror, specifically acknowledging ‘I Am Confident’ and ‘I Am Beautiful’.

For a moment I was stunned that he read them but then again, how could he not being that they are pretty noticeable. Before I could say anything in return he uttered “I often see these after a woman has gotten a divorce or dumped some asshole.” Huh?! The comment was off-putting and made he chuckle nervously as I quickly replied “Well I use them everyday… for reaffirmation.” After I said that his focus went back to the cards, mulling over the words a bit longer as he slowly nodded his head and made a sound of what seemed to be appreciation.

I didn’t know what I was more surprised about, his observations about other women who had mantras on their mirrors or the fact that he was comfortable in sharing rather candid information about other womens’ personal lives. Did these other women confide in him? Were they trying to conjure up some secret fantasy? I could tell that he was surprised when I told him that my mantras were not because of a break-up. He was even more surprised when he saw my wedding pictures strewn all over the walls of my living room, kitchen, and hallway as he made his way from the front door up the stairs. Love was the underlying story in all of those pictures and probably even more shocking to him was the fact that I am married to another woman.

His energy toward me changed after reading my mantras, hearing my response to his comment and seeing my pictures. He showed me pictures of his family, specifically his wife’s aunt who he had a picture of with her wife. I guess this was his way of saying Hey, I’m cool with women wanting to feel empowered and I’m even cooler with lesbians. Before he finished his job and left my life forever he simply noted that he liked the idea of reaffirming. Rather than add my story to his ever growing collection of ‘tales of scorned women’ he’ll have a different story to tell.

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